<< Dun ever hurt him >>

I realise i cant do my routine stuff without msging him.
I even initiate to msg him when he dun msg me.
And i get upset when he doesnt reply my msg fast.
I online almost every night becos of him.
And i only want to chat with him and no one else.
It feels so great to hv someone caring for u. Feel loved.
Oh shit! What am i doing? Hv i fallen for him too?
I am gonna stop this before i sink deeper into it.
" But why not?", I asked myself.

But i plan to stay single as long as i could until all my frens are attached. * My freedom theory again*
And to earn a lot of money to enjoy life.
Let that be my new found goal in life.
I am not going to fall in love anymore.
I want back all my freedom.
To be loved is always a blessing. To love is always torturing.
I want to be selfish for once. Just once.

Sometimes i really hate myself.
So much so tt i feel like stabbing myself 30 times.
There live a devil n angel inside me.
I want to be a devil n an angel at the same time.
My life is always full of contradiction. Argh. I hate this.

I cant stop myself from falling but i dun wan myself to fall.
I duno what i really want. My heart is blind.
I know he likes me but I keep pushing him to somebody.
I know i hv some feelings for him but i keep denying it.
I am really afraid of hurting him if i were to accept him.
I am even more afraid of losing him.
But i cant just ignore him and treat that i hv never known him.
Cos he has stepped into my life.
I dun wan him to step out again.

To be frank with u, I am already addicted to u...