I am so tired and restless now. I feel like going to bed now. I finish my work this mrn. Was supposed to attend a colleague rom lunch at Ritz but I back out last min. Coz I caught a cold last night and was down for flu since 2am. So I decided to go back home to sleep instead. The colleague is my mentor, Eric. Sorry Eric, I choose to rest between ur rom and my sleep. Congrats and blessings!

Eric has taken two days leave due to his rom. And for the two nights I had my first taste of taking the deck phone and monitor the line using my fresh and raw experience. Every time the deck phone rings, I will panic. I am even fear of answering it when I see unfamiliar nos. The caller usually speaks very fast with a foreign accent that leaves me with alot of qns marks after he hang up. I am so slow in catching. Feel so stupid to ask them to repeat alot of times. The MAs must be thinking what a stupid boss they have!

There are endless things to learn and there are times where I feel that my tiny and stupid brain is already saturated but I still keep on stuffing more info into my brain. Even noting it down wun help me. The info scattered here and there. Either I cant find it or I totally forgotten about it and I have to start all over again to ask and be scolded. Luckily I have very nice mentor and colleagues who will be always be there when I needed their help. But one bad thing is that, I tend to be over rely on them.

I know I am stupid.
I know I am slow to absorb.
I know I am struggling very hard.
But I wun give up.
And I wun allow allow myself to fall.
I will keep on fighting.
To prove to myself that I can survive even under harsh environment.