<< Meaningless >>

There is only one word to describe my life now--meaningless.
I wish i can shut up and stop complaining about my job.
This week is already the 3rd week and i am still doing the same old stuff evryday.
Its either the same old stuff or nothing to do at all.

Ppl say its stressed when you hv alot of work to do.
I think its more stress when you hv nth to do yet the ppl ard you are as busy as a bee.
I really hate this kind of feeling. Its a useless kind of feeling. U understand?

You guys wun understand how useless i feel every min every sec of the day.
I dun like to be a slacker and i dun wan to be a slacker either.
Everyday i hv to go ard asking them to give me something to do. Just sth tt can keep me occupied even for a min. But everyone is too busy to entertain me. Look at the pathetic state i am in.

Well, maybe i shldnt blame myself so much.
I guess the prob lies in my interest.
If i hv the interest in the job, i would hv taken the intitative to learn more. But i din.
I rather sit at my desk pretend tt i am as busy as the rest than to ask how the machine operate.

I am feeling useless not only because i hv nth to do.
Its also because i still cannot understand alot of things despite my supervisor explain to me repeatedly. That is real useless!
And i hv a stupid brain which doesnt register what i hv done earlier on.
Even my supervisor can rem what i hv did like whether i hv file in the document a not.
I am now the most famous sotong in the office.

Can someone just tell me what i should do?
Dun console me by telling me tt 6 mths will pass very fast.
Its all lies!! Hearing this will make me even more upset.
How can time pass very fast when you are stuck with things tt u dun enjoy doing?
I am very fan now. I hate everything. I hate my life now.

<< Spoil mood >>

I am feeling great today despite the weather is bad.
Finally get to do some hands on work that keep me occupied for the day.
Most importantly i wont feel so bored and hopefully less admin work.
Time passed very fast today and i even OT for more than one hr.
Glad tt the ppl there are nice and treat me really well esp the guys.
But there are also some real dao ppl who dun even wan to smile back when i smile at them.
And my GM, Davis who is always too busy to notice my presence.
He is just too cool, always with a earpiece and notebk in hand and uses a bugs bunny mug. Haa.
His desk is next to the photocopying machine. No wonder i always purposely go zap documents n always zap wrongly somemore. ( that is how i notice his bugs bunny mug!)
31 years old and is already a GM. Will that ever happen to me when i am 31?...

Its the start of another story.
This time my mood is bad.
Not at work but at home.
How can my mood change so fast in a day?
I feel so stress living in this house. Cant take it anymore. MAD.
Why must i get scolded like hell if i make a small mistake tt wun kill?
Dont you know tt ur constant ranting is making me mad?
Why make everyone in the house upset just because of you?
If ranting can change things better, go ahead and rant like mad dog and i will listen to your 'rap' just like i listen to jay chou's.
Why in ur eyes you are always right and others are always wrong?
Why do you always like to jump to conclusion without finding out the truth?
Dont you think you need to apologise for wronging me?
You are the one who create the gap between us and widen it, just in case you din realised!

Updating

I have alot of updating to do.
I have been missing in action since duno when.
I was damn bloody busy since the day of my attachment.
I hate to wake up to see the sky still dark.
And rushing my breakfast in the morning.
Chasing the bus and squeezing with ppl every mrn.
Arriving at my office with sweat! Yucks.
All thks to my company for deducting pay for those who are late. Sucks!

Currently i am doing pure admin work. Filing, data entry, updating file.
It has nothing to do with my engineering course at all.
This job is making me sick. I hate it.
My butt is stuck to the chair for 8hrs plus 1 hr of OT.
But my colleagues are really nice ppl.
They helped me alot in my work and really take gd care of me.
My supervisor even teach me step by step how to use excel. Moo, dun laugh hor.
Feel bad for troubling him all the time with those excel 'ought to know' things.
No wonder i feel so useless.
I really miss going back to school...

Enough of complaints. Talk about happy stuffs.
I have juz celebrated the 3 july babes 21st bdae.
Gals, u hv burnt a hole in my pocket.
But the money is well spent. I dun mind. ;)
Next time dun give birth to your babies at the same month hor.
Too bad i miss the RA show.
Can always watch it again but poor bankus we hv to leave you out. Hee.

Dear Juan, u finally pass ur driving!!!!
I will volunteer to be your first passenger.
So happy for you. *Hugs*
You definitely hv all the rights to be proud of yourself.
Gal, enjoy ur trip to thailand ya. U need a break badly.
Catch up with me when u are back k.

<< Upset >>

I hv been feeling very upset since yest night.
I couldnt sleep at all. The guilt accompanied me thro the night.
I was blaming myself for the whole night.
I was even more hurt when u suddenly offline.
I really din mean to get you into trouble.
You helped me so much and yet this is wat you get in return.
I feel like an asshole now.

You hv all the rights to be angry with me.
I just dun understand why u dun seem to mind when i told you abt it on the phone tt day.
Then yest your reaction was so big and you get so worked up.
I know you are a straightforward person, you just say what you want.
Why dun you voice out evrything tt you are unhappy abt on the phone tt day?

I rather we din bump into each other today at heartland.
Cos i duno how i should face you.
I am not sure what Tan said to you but i hope he din blame you for it.
I know you are still angry with me, you din even want to reply my msg.
A sorry cant change anything now but i still want to say i am truly sorry.
I din expect a quarrel to break out btwn us. A serious one somemore.
Itiz a test to our 10 years of friendship?
Reply me when you are no longer angry with me ba.

What a fuckingly shit day!!

<< Terribly sick >>

I hv lost count how many packs of tissue i used. And my nose is as red as a clown now. The weather is so hot n humid yet i am sneezing away. My throat is getting better after drinking litres of water(toilet run!!).

How is everybody? Why is everyone missing in action?
I miss Juan.
I miss Huiya.
I miss Moo.
I miss Peiru.
I miss Bankus.
I miss school.
I miss each and everyone of you!!

My attachment starting next mon. My blood boils the moment i mention my attachment. Gals, i hv complained to u all but still wanna complain. I hate it! Why eat into my Sat? Why why why? My precious Sat is GONE not for one month, not for 3 month, is for 6 months. Can u imagine tt?
Because of this, i hv to re-schedule my tuition time. Shit Sunmicro. The first day of my job i am gonna show my supervisor my super duper blACk face. ArgHhhh...

Suddenly feel so busy these days. When i want to slack, alot of things appeared out of the blue for me to do. When i wan to be occupied, no tuition agency call me, nobody ask me out. Haiz. Dear Juan, we cant go JB le my Sat is so occupied now. Sat: 8-12pm>> work then 2-5pm >> tuition. Sun: 1.30-3pm >> tuition. I intend to shift my new tuition to sun.

'NO LIFE' days are gonna start... Nooooooo... Give me back my books and tutorial i want to go back to school... I dun wan to work...

<< Insect Battle >>

Still as sick and is getting worse.
Cough, cough...my throat is so itchy.
I feel like putting my hand into my mouth to scratch my throat.
And tt stupid phlegm stuck in my throat dun wana cum out.

Intend to sleep late todae but was woken up by the cough.
I wake up to do housework instead!
The floor is so dusty.
Mum has been too busy to take care of this house.
I hv been sick for the whole week so din sweep the floor too.

I always think that doing housework is as easy as ABC.
Until today then i know its not only tiring but its oso dangerous!
Housewives need to 'battle' with all kinds of insects they found in the house.
Insect Kingdom: lizard, cockroach, beatle and all sorts.

Today while i was sweeping the floor, i saw a worm!!
I thought it was a rubber band but how come it can move?!
*scream~ i used the broom to hit it but it can still move!
That worm got 9 lives lor. It wun die one.
I used shieldtox instead. One spray will do but i kept spraying cos i very scared.
Can see that the poor worm is struggling and it stops moving gradually.
It is dead in the pool of shieldtox... Yucks!

I thought that was the end of the insect battle.
It is the start!
I saw a baby lizard trying to squeeze into a cupboard.
The way it moves its legs n tail is so disgusting.
It makes my hair stand. *scream~
I used that powerful weapon again>> shieldtox.
And i kept spraying until it wun move.
It died the same way as the worm.
It died the same day as the worm.
They were 'buried' at the same place.

HeRo of the day.
Yucks. I dun wanna be a hero again.
This task is too dangerous for a fragile lady like me.
That is the importance of a guy in the house?!
Dear gals, u need to consider twice when cuming to my house the next time.
It is a 'insect haunted' house.

<< Sick week >>

Hv been sick for the entire week.
Stomach cramp, sore throat, cough, flu.
Stupid viruses! Stay away from me!!
Still left 7 days to enjoy before i go for the cheap labour job.
How come my salary is still not available yet??
All my friends' salary already out long time ago except mine.
What a 'priceless' job huh.

This week i din manage to meet up with Kh, huiya and Peiru.
I din go out with dear Juan, let alone zhumei.
Why is everyone so busy?
And why am I the only one slacking around, doing nothing?
I feel like a piece of rotten shit.
I cant carry on with my cafe planning cos i encountered alot of prob.
I am stuck there then came my illness. Arghhh..
But thank god i got another tuition assignment.
All thanks to Yufeng for helping me to fetch $18/hr.
Gal, u are good at bargaining manz.
Actually i am already quite happy with $15/hr.
Cos i am only worth that much. Too lan dun dare to ask for much.
Really thks alot. Coffee on me.

One more week and i will be as busy as u gals.
Take care. Miss u gals.