<< Tired Day >>

I woke up in the middle of my sleep.
The sky was dark. Surrounding was in a silence.
Din bother to go look at the time.
I dreamt of Mx. I dreamt of Nic.
They live in my dreams.
I went back to sleep.

My alarm rings. Its was 9am.
I off it and went back to my cosy bed.
The alarm woke my sis up instead of me.
I hv decided to sleep for the whole day.
Tired. Body low batt.

I opened my sleepy eyes.
It was 11am.
I forced myself to sleep longer.
But my eyes refused to close.
I lied on my bed and looked out of the window.
My vision was blurred cos I din wear my spec.
The blurred vision starts to form images.
Those images are called memories.

Enough of my daydreaming.
I sat up on my bed.
I look around the room and get off my bed.
My day starts...

Dun feel like doing anything today.
Too tired to move my body.
Ring ring... Its my hp. It might be frm tuition agency.
Jan: Halo..
Mummy : Where are u? At home ar?
Chey its my mum la!
Jan: Hmm. y?
Mummy: U dun wan to come down to collect ur prize money ar?
Jan: Its only $25. U go collect la. Need me to protect u meh?
Mummy: Come down la. U nv collect before ma. I wan to buy durians oso.
Jan: Eeeek always buy durians. U go collect la. If $2500 then i go collect.
Mummy: Come down la. Help me take durians home. I wait for u at my shop. NOW hor.
Jan: K la k la.
I hang up the phone and continue to watch tv.
After 15 mins then i dragged myself downstairs.

I met my mum and we went to join the queue.
Its our turn.
My mum gave the cashier the 4D reciept.
She checked thro the com and gave my mum $250.
Five blue notes!!
Wa piangz. My mum tricked me lor. Her cheeky smile.
I even believe her. Kaoz. Good actress huh.
Have not been doing any good deeds. Reason for striking 4D??
God must hv heard my prayers.
Gave my mum $100 and save the rest.
Let this be a good start for saving.
I think i am over tired. I din jump for joy. I din laugh.
I need a good rest.
Wan an.

<< Stupid Day >>

June is coming to an end soon.
Still no news from tuition agencies.
14 days to my attachment.
Still left alot of days to rot at home.
Life is hard. Wallet empty. Bank account zero.
But thk god my pay is coming in on mon.
Thk god again for letting me strike 4D starter : 0707.
Eyes dun stare big. Its only $25.

Went to Escape with Gina today cos she got free tix.
We visited the haunted house(new one).
Its so dark n smoky inside. We were holding hands cos we scare suddenly sth may pop out.
We screamed n screamed cos we were scaring each other.
I think we scare the ghosts inside instead of them scaring us!
Only played 3 rides cos nothing fun to play.
In fact, the rides are boring and the queue is damn long.
Singapore theme park sux. I wana go disneyland. Tonite. In my dreams. :X
Left the theme park after tt. Its only 4.10pm. Too early for dinner.
Went to buy drinks n find place to rest.
Gina said she is too tired to move and she wants to take a nap there.
Crazy gal. She rest while i stare at the ceiling.
45 mins has gone. We walked to Fisherman Village.
Saw alot of ppl rollerblade. Juan, when are we gg again?
Reached there at 5.10pm. Its still too early.
Time flies very s-l-o-w today.
We find a place to sit again.
She rest while i stare at the sky again until 7pm.
Time for dinner. Thats the only thing we looked forward to.
We went back to 'The Reef' again and ordered the same old food.
Their food standard has dropped alot, we realised.
Bad experience. Spoil our mood.
To make things worse, Gina suddenly said she is not feeling well.
Can tell tt she is really not feeling well and will puke any time.
She lose her appetite. She pushed all her food to me.
I end up eating one & half chicken chop, 2 sets of salad, a baked potato with xtra sour cream.
I should be the one puking! Its 8.50pm.
Take cab go home. Its 9.10pm.

I keep emphasizing on the time. This shows tt i look at my watch too many times today.
What a stupid day!!!
I might as well stay home to finish up on my story book.
Suddenly i feel tt rotting at home is not a bad thing afterall.
At least no need a single cent.

[ Sorry dear Juan, yest was a bit boring for u. Yest i wasnt too on. Feel bad for not acc u to meet sandra even for a while cos i really dun like the feeling of being xtra. Sorry again for rejecting to go clubbing with u. Reject until u lost count le rite? pai seh. P/s: U look more sexy and attractive without the stick in ur hand.]

<< Another boring day >>

Was on msn chat with Juan n Yaya. Lucky u gals are online. I am gg to be bored to death soon.
I hv seen Juan's photo frm Japan. Its nice but she said i fu yan her. Hump!
We are discussing wat activity to do this week.
Its really hard to come up with an activity tt doesnt need a single cent at all.
Life without money is so sucky. Sob...
Give me 3 more mths i will still be as poor cos i am too expert in squandering!
For the sake of my cafe, i must save even thou i know no matter how much or how hard i save i will nv save up to $10000.

Yuppie i hv tagboard now and my archive prob has been solved too.
All thks to Juan. She is so smart. No la, i too stupid. :/
Yaya's bdae wishlist is out!! I am glad tt she gave me practical ans.
1) Digital cam
2) MP3 player
3) A mmc card 512MB and above and a card reader
4) Harry potter book 6
5) If u all really no money buy me a dvd.
Ok then I shall go for the 5th option. Huiya u wun mind right? Hee.
Why not i buy skirt, sexy dress, bikini, cosmetics for u?
Be more feminine la. Got ppl mistaken u as my bf le la!

Hv been stuffing myself with food lately.
Always hungry after lunch and dinner even tho i ate alot.
Eating snacks and fried food even thou i sore thr
Suddenly hv the urge to go JB to feast.
All i think abt is food, food, food.
Wat is happening to me?
I am gonna die of overeating one day.

<< First gathering since Peiru is backed >>

I finally hv the yong qi to cook the cream sauce. Yest too nervous.
I spent 1hr and 30 mins to prepare the ingredients.
Slice the mushroom, weigh the butter, chop the garlic. Yucks my fingers still got the garlic smell.
I took so long to prepare cos i 'chicken hand duck leg'(in chinese) !!
But the cooking part was quite fast. Add everything then stir.
Smell nice but doesnt taste as nice. Its edible but a bit bland and too much milk(feedback from gina). I will try harder next time. :)

We had our first gathering since Peiru is backed.
We meet at orchard at 6.30pm but i reached at 6.50.
This time is not me. It was Huiya. She reached amk at 6.20.
But Peiru was the last to reach. She fa fu le.
She has been feeding herself with alot of cabohydrates. I must learn from her!
We then discussed wat to hv for dinner. They all voted for KFC, Mos Burger.
But i hv a sore throat. I suggested to go Crystal Jade. It was a long queue.
While waiting for our nos to be called, we listened to Peiru's story.
The restaurant is full house. I wonder how much they make in just one day. Must be alot judging from the crowd.
We all ordered noodles. It my first time eating the noodles.
Doesnt taste as good as i expected. The sauce is too little. I should hv eat KFC.
The food and service are not tt excellent but why still got so many ppl patronise?
Isnt tt ridiculous? itiz all about the brand?
There is a restaurant quite similar to crystal jade at jurong east entertainment centre first floor.
Their menu looks the same. The first time i went there i almost mistaken it as another CJ outlet. The restaurant is called Sun Lok if i din rem wrongly.
The food there is alot better than CJ. The noodles is so much superior than CJ.
The price is almost the same. But its definitely worth the price.
Its a must try!! After trying u will boycott CJ for sure. haha. I miss the food there.

After dinner we went for a chat.
The july babies are deciding how to celebrate their bdae.
Peiru wants to throw a bdae party at chalet. KH is sitting on the fence. Huiya is strongly against it. I duno u guys! I am in charge of ur presents only. Just send me ur bdae wishlist asap k.
Watever itiz hope u guys find a perfect way to resolve k.

Goodnite. Zzz..

<< Happy*Scared*Excited >>

Yest i went to Giant with my parents to search for the ingredients tt i needed.
Despite the supermarket so big, there are still some ingredients tt i cant find.
Cant find>> Grated cheese. Parmesan cheese. Parsley. Tartar sauce frm best foods. Black pepper. Maybe the place is too big which makes searching harder.
And there are so many cream available. How wun i know which one is used for making soup?
But i manage to buy all the ingredients for making the cream sauce.
Today i am going to make cream sauce for pasta.
Hope i dun make a mess in the kitchen.
If my cream sauce tastes like shit i am gg to pour all away. Nobody is gg to eat shit k.

Sometimes i wonder if my dream will come true.
Cos my biz partner not as enthu as me.
I am working real hard to achieve it.
Reading accounting textbk.
Borrow lots of pasta recipe bk to read.
Trying out the recipe.
Searching for suppliers in yellow pages.
Starting to do the cafe layout.
Meeting every week with my biz partner.
Thinking of ways to earn more money for my capital.
*I hope i can open my cafe in one year's time.

Problem encounter:
1) Not enough capital. need around $10000 each person.
2) Duno know anything abt accounting.
3) Cafe layout i need help.

<< Yesterday >>

Fuck. I duno wat i press, the things tt i wrote all disappear.
Hv to rewrite again. Arghh.

Yest wanted to write my blog but too tired to write.
Yest chatted with alot of ppl esp Juan. She has came back from Japan.
She din do any shopping there but she has bought back alot of happy memories.
Seems like she is motivated to save hard for her next Japan trip again. Jia you, gal.

Juan has read my blog and scolded me for not letting her know abt it.
She even said she dun deserve the fren status. Wat a silly gal.
I din want to trouble u with my prob cos u already gou fan le.
U hv ur own prob too and mine is nth compared to yours.
Gal, thks for ur encouragement asking me not to give up.
I know u meant well and i also truely understand tt 'Nothing will come back to u if u dont try.'
But i hv already sentence myself to death.
I am just too greedy and selfish for love ba.
Love life and freedom weigh the same to me.
But freedom weigh a little bit more.
If i cant hv both, i would rather be a carefree bird always flying high and as far as i could to search for my freedom.
Immature? Childish thinking? but who cares.
But gal, u said sth tt really touched my heart.
'Its really hard to find someone who makes you feel the pain deep inside your heart.'
I agree with tt. But tt someone only makes me feel the pain inside my heart not 'deep' yet.
So can i say he is not worth my time afterall? I am letting it go.
He makes me feel like i am in a fantasy land. Everything is so perfect and great.
But tt fantasy land has disappeared. The characters on the land hv went back to reality.
We are just two person looking for someone to chase away the loneliness in us.

I feel so much better toking to you. Gal, u straighten out my thoughts.
If i ever met someone who can make me feel the pain deep inside my heart, i will nv let it go.
I will try very hard before i really give up. Thanks gal!

I went to trim my hair today. I wan a shorter fringe too.
But the hairdresser cut away all my perm and cut 2cm of my fringe.
Sob. I am back to square one again. Yes, tt cow hair again.
Guess i hv to really know how to style my hair in order to rescue my hair.
I wun let u all laugh at my hair de. I go style now.

<< My heart is blind >>

I read this from my friendster bulletin.
It describes exactly how i feel abt tt someone.

+Never be afraid to fall in love.
It may hurt alot, it may give you aches and pains.
But if you don't follow your heart, in the end you will cry even more for not giving love a chance.+

+Love may leave your heart like shattered glass,
but keep in mind that there's someone who'll be willing to endure the pain of picking up the pieces so you could be whole again.+

Have u ever missed someone and felt terrible because u think tt he doesn't miss u?
Sitting around wondering if i meant anything to him.
Thinking if he ever cares about me when i wrote 'i am sick' in my msn nick.
Going to sch hoping to bump into him in the library and canteen.
Laying on my bed, thinking of tt one night we spent together in sch.
Looking at the photo we took on 13/6 without getting sick of it.
Logging on to the internet everyday hoping to see him online.

He is online for the whole day. Me too.
But he din chat with me.I din chat with him too.
Think he is too busy with all the activties during holi.
'In-camp training: 20th june till 1st july. Insinyur camp : 4th july til 9th july. IA: 11th onwards'
or itiz we hv nothing to chat anymore?... :'(

<< Updating >>

Have been real busy with EID proj over the weekends.
Finally it has ended. Yest was the presentation.
Din win any prize. Expected la. Wasnt disappointed at all.
Thro this proj i got to know a bunch of great ppl.
But wun be seeing them for the next 6 mths cos of IA.
Take care guys!

I always complain tt my eng course is too long. 4yrs!?
So far i hv completed 2 years, still left with 2 more years.
But time will pass very fast...
I dun wan to graduate so fast. I dun wan..
Next 6 mths wun be gg back to sch. I will miss sch and him..

Juan, having fun at Japan?
Miss ya. Come back fast!
I suddenly hv the urge to go chiong le. *_*

<< Fed up >>

Todae i woke up, doll myself up and happily went to sch.
I was happy to go back to sch. Hv not been gg back since mon.
Seems crazy rite? Why suddenly i like to go back to sch?!
It must be someone tt i am looking forward to see in sch...
Unfortunately i lost my ezlink card on my way to the mrt.
I rem the card is still with me when i alight the bus.
Then so weird the card just disappeared without my realisation.
So sad i cant go back sch with them le. :(
Din know that lost a card is so troublesome.
Need to report lost then still need to call this n that.
The worst thing is tt i need to fork out $21 replacement fee.
Haiz. I must be careful not to lost my belongings cos i cant afford to pay!

Went to do my cafe planning just now.
There are so many things involved, so many things to consider.
The explicit cost, the furniture, kitchen equipment, the ingredients needed and alot more.
I dun wan a plain cafe, a cafe tt purely serve snacks and drinks.
I wan my cafe to be unique, a cafe tt can capture the students' hearts.
I am racking my brain to cum up with some valued added service for the students.
I think in a cafe the services provided is more impt than the food and the beverages.
*What will make my cafe unique in the eyes of the students?*

But the more i plan the more disheartened i get.
Before doing the planning, everything seems so simple.
After start doing the planning, everything becum so complicated.
My dream is starting to drift away.
Can my dream be realised?

:: Gal, its just the first step. First step is always the most difficult to overcome. Overcome all ur fears with that burning passion in you. You can do it! ::

I really need to save up. I duno whether i shld give more tuition or find a cafe job.
But I dun hv enough experience to manage a cafe.
Then there is GIP (exchange program) in Jan. Shld i go?
I believe it will be a very good experience and oppt.
But the duration is for 6 months. Away for too long.
What shld i do? I hate to be caught in such dilemma.
Can my dreams be realised?
I can only see question marks now...

<< Shopping trip >>

Yest i wanted to write my blog but i was busy figuring out how to change my blog layout.
But in the end also duno how to change despite Juan taught me how le.
I am really hopeless at such things. Is there a word more serious than 'stupid' to describe me?
Later i go try again. I promise to let Juan read my blog after it is nicely done up. I will jia you de.

Yest no need to go back sch so went shopping with Juan.
Wa, tt gal stood me up for one hr. I bought one shirt le she haven cum leh.
Gal, i understand la. Last week we went rollerblading u oso wait for me ma. ;P
Alot of things caught our eyes but no money to buy. Haiz.
I saw a pair of shorts. $39.90.
I saw a black wrist band. $6.90.
She saw a purple top (it looks nice on u!!) and a glittering belt.
I need lots of vitamin M!!
After buying our first item (so pathetic), we hv been constantly looking for place to sit down.
The heels are killing me!
We went to a cafe at cine previously occupied by Lips.
I told her abt my dreams>cafe!!
Get alot of tips n advice from her and supplier nos (hehe).
Gal, if i hv the money i will hire u as my cafe consultant. ;)
I duno if my dreams will come true.
But i am determined to enough overcome any obstacles tt come my way!

:: I intend to spend my life in the direction of my dreams, not in the direction of my fears ::

<< Live a healthy lifestyle >>

This morning i woke up, told myself tt i MUST live a healthy lifestyle from now onwards.
Cos i was guilty from all the late night, junk food, no-exercise day, irregular meals etc.
I hv been pumping alot of toxic into my body, i realise.
I dun wana be a panda anymore. Its not cute!
I dun wana a spare tyre slowing wrapping me up.
I dun wana to face my frens n family with my dull lack of sleep face.
I dun wana my body to ache for one whole wk when i go blading or cycling.
And most importantly, i dun wana to live aimlessly and slack consistently!

Here is my healthy lifestyle resolution.
I know its not going to be easy to achieve even tho it seems very simple to do.
I need alot determination and sacrifices.
My determination melts when i see delicious food. How can i possibly resist?
The most delicious food is always the most unhealthy food.
Oh no, i cant. Food is related to my dreams. (haha, finding excuse ar)
Ok, the more i write the more i feel it is impossible to achieve.
I shall stop writing all the impossible.
I will make it possible de. ;p

I must sleep before 12 everyday. If possible, sleep at 11pm.
I must do some exercise in any form 3 times a week.
I must eat fruits when my hunger pang strikes instead of tibits.
I must eat at least one fruit a day. If possible, eat before meals.
I must drink alot alot of water everyday esp when outside.
I must opt for more vege when eating outside.
I must go for food without MSG. Hair dropping!!!
I must eat my meals regularly.
I must live happily everyday, smile more and worry less.

<< A night w/o him >>

Today i met juan to go rollerblading at pasir ris.
We meet at 3pm but only start to blade at 5.30pm.
We hv been walking the wrong way for 2 hrs n 30 mins under the blazing sun!
By that time my excited mood has all gone.
Duno wat got into me. Things not going well for me whenever i go out. Fark.

My mind was somewhere else when blading.
My hp din beep. I was waiting for some msg.
It was an empty wait. Why?
Yest was on msn chat with him.
I was feeling down becos of him. He din know.
He asked me why i was sad.
I almost burst out that it all becos of him.
I duno if he really care for me or just kapo'ing'.
I told him it was relationship prob.
He din suspect anything. Or maybe he does.
I told him i hv lost ' sth ' and can nv be retrieve back.
He din get the hint.
Forget about it. I am quitting this game. There is no players left.
But today i found myself online again despite i am very tired.
Reason: Becos of him again.
But he din cum n chat with me. Why?

I hv found the answer.