Boring Saturday

It is a boring saturday.
Mum and sis are working.
Dad and bro are sleeping.
Darling has went back to msia and will only be back on thur. =(
And I am in my home making a new organiser for myself(trying to find things to do).
My old one is only left with a few pages.
I love to see the calendar in my orgainser fully filled with things to do.
I want each day of my life to be meaningful.

I am a contradict and fickle-minded person.
I mentioned in my last entry that I dun intend to find a job.
I will give tuition for the time being and may consider to become a full time tutor.
But the day after the entry, an incident happened.
This trival yet significant incident changes the decision I have made.
I hv decided to find an engineering job and start work immediately after my convocation.
Being a full time private tutor is going to get me nowhere unless I am NIE-trained.
Which I dun think I want.
Finding an eng job is a better and appropriate choice.
Besides I am not young anymore. =(
Think of those kids who are still in sec school or jc.
And you find that the number 23 is very depressing.
Stop reminding me that sickening number.
I better spend my youth properly.
Teaching is my passion.
I can always teach when I retired.

Went to see friendster yesterday to check out my friends' lastest update.
More and more people getting engaged or married at such early age.
But definitely not me at the moment.
Have to build my career first.
I also saw photos taken at various countries like taiwan, hk, korea etc.
Watching enviously when they pose with the nice scenery,
drooling over the yummy food in their hand,
xin yang yang over their shopping goodies...
I want to go overseas!!!!!
I wan to go taiwan.
Feel like flying there now and bring back all the goodies.
I should really consider going.
To give myself a big treat for completing the 4yrs 'jail term'.
After which I will have the motivation to work harder for my career.
Ok, that shall be my decision FOR THE NEXT FEW MONTHS.

Damn it. I am sick again. When did I become so weak and susceptible to flu virus? My last sick record was april! Have been coughing my lungs out and having a bad sore throat for the past few days. I have a bad habit of not seeing the doctor whenever I am sick coz I always believe that minor illnessess such as cough and running nose will go away if I drink enough water. But it takes a long time to recover.

My results for the last semester has been out. BB+B-D+. And I got B for my fyp. I am satisfied with my fyp grade coz I know I din put in much effort for my fyp so cant expect for higher grade. My results for the four years in ntu added up to a 2nd lower class honours. :( Well...ahem at least I got a honours.. Din let my parents down...

Back to my job search. Frankly speaking, I dun feel like starting work now. Besides that I am not mentally prepared for entering the working society. I know specifically what kind of job and position I want to look for. Even though I have been complaining about my engineering course, I do hv an interest in some areas which is semiconductor(my specialisation). All my job search are concentrated on wafer fabrication companies. One thing that is holding me back for applying the job is the tough working condition. Most semiconductor industries require to work 12 hrs rotating shift which I doubt I can make it coz I am someone who is very concern about sleeping early. How can I bear to exchange my precious sleeping hours for money$$. No amount of money will be able to compensate for that! I can imagine myself quitting the job after one week I start work.

Besides that, I hv three private tuition now. I need to choose between engineering job and tuition which I dun want to let go. Coz I am satisfied with the pay as well as the job. My passion for teaching is back again! In fact I enjoy what I am doing now thats why I stop the job search. Maybe I should try being a full time tutor but if I were to become a full time tutor I cant continue this job for the rest of my life. It would be such a waste to spend so much money and time studying in university. And it can be quite stress when all my friends hv started working and I am the only one who haven start working. I dun want to anyhow apply for a job just to try out coz the first job is going to hv a major impact on the rest of my working career. Haiz..

Its thursday already. So fast?! The 4th day of a week and soon the weekends will come and it will be monday and then the cycle repeats itself. Weeks after weeks, the month of june will be over soon. I promise to do a job search this week but I din do anything at all. I did try to look for some jobs but I just got irritated and vexed, and decided to surf the net instead. So I practically spent my time on those bo liao stuffs rather than on things that concern my future. Arghhhhh..

I got a marketing exam next thursday. The last module to clear before I declared a minor in business. Alot of ppl mistaken that I did badly in my studies and hv to repeat tts why I am still need to go school during the holiday. The mum just couldnt understand when I explained to her hundreds and thousands of times. I din TA BAO! I am innocent! And my dad is way too concern about the extra sch fee he has to pay for the 5 weeks inter-sem module I took. Arghhhh..

10 lessons and I only attended 5 lessons. And I have yet to start my revision for the exam. Hate my slackiness with no motivation and no discipline. I thought its my last module and last exam in ntu and furthermore its my fave business business, I should hv all the energy, enthusiasm and motivation to read beyond my lecture notes. But I just..Arghhhh..

I have a marketing presentation later in the afternoon. The product that my group is doing is a multifunction mp3 watch that allows calories burnt in a workout to be measured, and can transfer incoming calls and SMSes from your hp to the watch. Basically one can listen to music via wirless bluetooth earpiece while doing exercise and save the hassle of carrying the hp during the workout. Unrealistic product, right? Haha who cares. The lecturer only concern about how we market the product. There is one group doing LCD shoes that can change colour so girls no need to buy so many shoes. So funny!

I wana learn driving. Anyone has good driving instructor to recommend??

Finally the 2 days temp job at the suntec IT fair has ended. Have not been doing sales job like this for quite a long time. And my legs are going to break for standing full 8 hours for the 2 days. But all this is worth cos I FINALLY understand what is meant by wireless connection(thks to bankus for ur patient and kind explanation and also for tis lobang). Yuppie. And I am being paid for learning so many IT stuffs. But I din get to tour the IT fair. What a waste.

Doing temp part jobs reminds me of those good old days when I hv just finished my O level or A level. I remember I will always wake up very early to buy the newspapers(very kiasu), and immediately flipped it to the temp jobs/other jobs category under the classified jobs section. Then I will call up all the companies that offer temp jobs but always ended up in frustration cos the line cant get through. haha. Those were the days...

Nowadays I am getting very sensitive to conversation related to age or words associated with 老. Not sure whether is it my new hairstyle or my overall dressing, somebody commented that I looked like 25 yrs old. :'(

My timetable for this week is to search for jobs and send resume, and hopefully by june I can find a job. *Pray

Life after graduation

Everyone is like busy searching for jobs and going for interview.
I hv been slacking around, giving tuition and doing some temp jobs.
I din do any job search except for attending one interview held in ntu campus.
But in the end, I din manage to get interviewed cos there were too many graduates applying for that company.
So I just sent my resume to the company.
I doubt the HR will reply my email.

Haiz whatever la..I feel that I am not ready to enter the working society yet.
I want to take my time to slowly search for a job that is really suitable for me.
Cos I know myself too well. I do things purely based on my interest.
Actually I also duno what I want now.
I used to be very sure of my goal in life and very determine to achieve it.

But now..
I realised that the dream that I hv been pursuing for so many years has become more and more unrealistic.
The strong passion that I always had for this dream has gradually eroded over the years just like a handful of sand escaping from my fingers.
Now I am back to the crossroads not knowing which direction to go to.
My dad hopes that I can find a proper engineering job soon.
He is near the retiring age and he is still slogging hard at work.
I cant bear to see him work till wee hours for almost everyday.
I must find a job soon not for me but at least for my family.

I have been a cave women since april. My pc was spoilt and currently the borrowed laptop that I am using has no proper network connection. Thats why I cant hv access to the net let alone blogging. :'( I have got so many 感触since the day I finish my exams to my fyp presentation to my finally graduation. But now I have found the solution to my network problem. wireless router!!! Din know the existence of router until I went to do a temp job to sell router at suntec IT fair. *blushed. Imagine a com idiot trying to sell wireless router who doesnt even know the basic things like ***( I shall not disclosed here to save some face for myself!) and asking dumb qns with no idea what myself is talking. That was one customer who walked over to my booth and said," Hi, I am actually a com idiot, I need your help in choosing a suitable router." In my heart, I was saying " I am more c0m idiot than you lor..." I think I really learn a great deal from this IT fair. I take things too granted.